Happy birthday and thanks for sharing your feelings and your thoughts.
This year I turned 75, so I can give you some insights of what it’s like at this stage in life and what I learned from past experience.
About: “A decade is way longer than I tend to assume.”
The older I get, the decades seem shorter and shorter. I think it has to do with the proportion in relation to the lived-life.
Yes, enjoy every minute of parenting, of your love life, and, very important, your routine.
About the routine: I realized how important it is during some scary moments when I seriously worried about my health (fortunately favorably resolved.)
I was so happy to go back to my everyday life!
About “The prospect of nearly 3 decades in which I will have dramatically more free time and flexibility than I have today, with all the wealth and wisdom I will have gained in the meantime.”
The older I get, the more time spent trying to stay alive and functioning (exercises for body and mind, doctors appointments, tests.) Sometimes I wonder how I run out of time now that I’m retired, but I do.
Proactive screening, early detection and treatment, prevention should start early, at your age (Cholesterol! Everything equal, we have 50% chances of dying of cardiovascular disease.)
I agree with you. I learned to focus on all I have achieved in my work and family domain and relish it.
I tell myself:
I have had 40 years of fantastic love life. No-one can take that away. I’m ahead, no matter what happens.
I had 45 years of a medical profession. I made interesting, difficult diagnosis, I saved lives…
I created a dynasty starting with 3 wonderful children…
I wrote 5 books and got an agent and a publisher…
Worries and regrets are a waste of time. I can’t do anything about regrets and, in my experience, 85% of the time the things I worry about won’t come true. I try to postpone the worry to when something does happens. (Ragnar’s conversation in Atlas Shrugged helped me.)
I’m still learning not to worry about some things I cannot do anything about, including my adult children’s choices, and yes, death and dying. (It helps having a life partner with a “healthy relationship with aging and mortality”. Luckily, my husband Peter has it as well.)
John Lennon was right.
The teacher gave him an assignment: “What do you want to be when you grow up?”
He wrote: “Happy.”
Teacher: “You don’t understand the assignment.”
John: “You don’t understand life”
I try to keep in mind that HAPPINESS is the purpose of life, not discovering the cure for aging, winning the Nobel Prize in Medicine, selling millions of books…
When I didn’t feel happy driving home, I got a divorce at the age of 34.
When I didn’t feel happy driving to work, I conquered and entered a Cardiology program at the age of 48.
Yes, it’s great having a purpose you can keep for the rest of your life.
Having goals and purposes is essential at any stage of life. My new career as an author can continue as long as I can keep my brain (See above about keeping up with your health.)
Yes, “Getting old is actually kind of awesome.”
The alternative is a lot worse, trust me. Still, growing old is not for sissies.
By the way, Gena, your life span plan is way too short! 75 is the old 50 (today’s middle age.)
Congratulations! We Oct 30-ians have to stick together, particularly in the face of the menace that is Halloween. I’m 50 today, so 10 years down the line. It was a weird decade (pandemic etc) but there is a lot of time in it.
I don't know why this makes me as emotional as it does. Perhaps it's because I have the same sort of tendencies and am also approaching 40. I couldn't make it past “You are one of the richest and happiest people who ever lived” without tearing up—and pausing to share with my wife—and it didn't really get much easier after that. What a lovely reflection. Thank you, Gena.
By the way, what application did you and Matt create these in? I saw his recently, in a course he guest-instructed, and I got so many great sparks of clarity from what he said there.
Oh, an interesting related thing I did recently: In a chart, put years (into the future) in one column, your age in the next, and your kids' ages next to that. For such obvious facts, it's still kind of fascinating to think about.
Wondering as a fellow 40-turner looking at your (very cool) tables: Does looking at your next 40 years this way bring up any Peter Thiel-esque 10 years in 6 months possibilities? Or maybe some of the reverse, things there’s no need to rush?
Another thing that stands out from your tables is your plan to move cities. Maybe your past has conditioned you otherwise, but I’m led to believe in the value of growing deep roots—for you and your kids. So why not move sooner, or stay in Austin?
getting old is *really* awesome
Oh, my! This map is so really awesome!! I might completely steal that from you :) Your conclusions are wise and beautiful. And happy birthday!
Happy birthday Gena, and what a great exercise!
Happy birthday! And thank you for the wonderful post.
Loved the exercise, i will do it.
We just published a shot piece on time with similar conclusions to yours, especially on kids.
https://threex.substack.com/p/54-the-time-of-our-lives?
Happy Birthday!
You have the same birthday as my dad, we just got back from dinner here in Austin
Happy birthday :) 🎈
Happy birthday, Gena!!!
Hi Gena,
Happy birthday and thanks for sharing your feelings and your thoughts.
This year I turned 75, so I can give you some insights of what it’s like at this stage in life and what I learned from past experience.
About: “A decade is way longer than I tend to assume.”
The older I get, the decades seem shorter and shorter. I think it has to do with the proportion in relation to the lived-life.
Yes, enjoy every minute of parenting, of your love life, and, very important, your routine.
About the routine: I realized how important it is during some scary moments when I seriously worried about my health (fortunately favorably resolved.)
I was so happy to go back to my everyday life!
About “The prospect of nearly 3 decades in which I will have dramatically more free time and flexibility than I have today, with all the wealth and wisdom I will have gained in the meantime.”
The older I get, the more time spent trying to stay alive and functioning (exercises for body and mind, doctors appointments, tests.) Sometimes I wonder how I run out of time now that I’m retired, but I do.
Proactive screening, early detection and treatment, prevention should start early, at your age (Cholesterol! Everything equal, we have 50% chances of dying of cardiovascular disease.)
I agree with you. I learned to focus on all I have achieved in my work and family domain and relish it.
I tell myself:
I have had 40 years of fantastic love life. No-one can take that away. I’m ahead, no matter what happens.
I had 45 years of a medical profession. I made interesting, difficult diagnosis, I saved lives…
I created a dynasty starting with 3 wonderful children…
I wrote 5 books and got an agent and a publisher…
Worries and regrets are a waste of time. I can’t do anything about regrets and, in my experience, 85% of the time the things I worry about won’t come true. I try to postpone the worry to when something does happens. (Ragnar’s conversation in Atlas Shrugged helped me.)
I’m still learning not to worry about some things I cannot do anything about, including my adult children’s choices, and yes, death and dying. (It helps having a life partner with a “healthy relationship with aging and mortality”. Luckily, my husband Peter has it as well.)
John Lennon was right.
The teacher gave him an assignment: “What do you want to be when you grow up?”
He wrote: “Happy.”
Teacher: “You don’t understand the assignment.”
John: “You don’t understand life”
I try to keep in mind that HAPPINESS is the purpose of life, not discovering the cure for aging, winning the Nobel Prize in Medicine, selling millions of books…
When I didn’t feel happy driving home, I got a divorce at the age of 34.
When I didn’t feel happy driving to work, I conquered and entered a Cardiology program at the age of 48.
Yes, it’s great having a purpose you can keep for the rest of your life.
Having goals and purposes is essential at any stage of life. My new career as an author can continue as long as I can keep my brain (See above about keeping up with your health.)
Yes, “Getting old is actually kind of awesome.”
The alternative is a lot worse, trust me. Still, growing old is not for sissies.
By the way, Gena, your life span plan is way too short! 75 is the old 50 (today’s middle age.)
All the best for your next 60+ years ;)
Congratulations! We Oct 30-ians have to stick together, particularly in the face of the menace that is Halloween. I’m 50 today, so 10 years down the line. It was a weird decade (pandemic etc) but there is a lot of time in it.
I don't know why this makes me as emotional as it does. Perhaps it's because I have the same sort of tendencies and am also approaching 40. I couldn't make it past “You are one of the richest and happiest people who ever lived” without tearing up—and pausing to share with my wife—and it didn't really get much easier after that. What a lovely reflection. Thank you, Gena.
By the way, what application did you and Matt create these in? I saw his recently, in a course he guest-instructed, and I got so many great sparks of clarity from what he said there.
Hope you had a wonderful birthday!
Oh, an interesting related thing I did recently: In a chart, put years (into the future) in one column, your age in the next, and your kids' ages next to that. For such obvious facts, it's still kind of fascinating to think about.
Wondering as a fellow 40-turner looking at your (very cool) tables: Does looking at your next 40 years this way bring up any Peter Thiel-esque 10 years in 6 months possibilities? Or maybe some of the reverse, things there’s no need to rush?
Another thing that stands out from your tables is your plan to move cities. Maybe your past has conditioned you otherwise, but I’m led to believe in the value of growing deep roots—for you and your kids. So why not move sooner, or stay in Austin?