It strikes me that, for many of us who struggle with building agency, the key challenge is letting the strength of your desire for something overcome the "nobody ever got fired for buying IBM" problem-- where "IBM" is the low-agency choice, and the one who does the "firing" is your own judgmental future self.
The low-agency choices you list are choices that, if they go wrong, are easy to rationalize to oneself: well, I did the done thing and it didn't work out, that sucks but whaddayagonnado? The high-agency choices require taking much more psychological responsibility for the risk of failure: reality being what it is, you may well consciously intend something, make the choices a priori most likely to achieve that intention, and fall short anyway, and then that is on you. And my sense is (maybe projecting here) that what often inhibits such choices is the anticipation of self-blame in that failure case. Is that something you see often?
This is such an insightful article! I recommend everyone who’s just starting on Substack consider reading high-quality publications.
Read high-quality publications first, so you develop a sense of what “good” looks like. Then, instead of getting lost in an ocean of posts and notes, you naturally start identifying the ones that align with your own internal North Star.
The critiques conflate high agency with blindness to tradeoffs. Those are two different problems. Lower agency is the harder problem to solve than awareness of tradeoffs. High agency + good judgement is the answer. Easier to develop judgement with high agency than without. Maybe they would consider high agency as a form of exploitation of low agency people? The low agency mindset overestimates downsides that are in turn exploited by rational actors with better judgement developed via a high agency mindset. If that’s their frame, there is no such thing as a just world with unequal outcomes. It’s exploitation all the way down.
Agree with every word. Literally. In my book The Ten Permissions my first permission is Be Wilful. For just the reasons you offer here= because we need desire as our driver. We need to reacquaint ourselves with "want". Which for most of us was squashed down very early. Be wilful! It sounds hugely transgressive but it's actually the start of all the best things in your life.
We find our own path when we stop acting to please others or to vie for their attention. That's the first step towards agency, towards finding your own path, your own voice. You cannot make an original contribution unless it is from your own voice.
When I look back at how I found my own path, I come to the surprising conclusion that it was mostly by trial-and-error. A simple example from my own life. I hardly had any taste for clothing, though I wanted to dress well. In a store, I tried a salmon-coloured shirt, was unsure of myself, went for the safer red shirt, wore it poorly, and then kicked myself for my cowardice. A week later, I returned to the store, bought the salmon-coloured shirt and wore it proudly ever since. I learned about my taste by first making the wrong choice.
So much of my life went through some form of trial-and-error, from personal tastes to life partners to career. That's why I would hesitate to try a GenaAI coaching app or a lifemapping tool. I don't think we can plot our lives that way, nor should we fear making the wrong choice. I'd rather dive in towards what feels right, see if it fits, and then decide if it's right for me.
The key is to pay attention to our own reactions. Does this feel right? Does it match our own abilities, means and desires? Even if our path is difficult, our choices may still be the right ones for us. That's the agency which you describe.
Agency is only the starting point: we also need the abilities and the means. I started a company that develops technologies to fight climate change. It was absolutely what I wanted to do and had the skills and experience to carry out. The timing ended up being wrong because investment in this space dried up while I was building up the company. We eventually folded. Abilities and means were there, but not the right circumstances.
All this requires courage. I think we find it, first by being clear about what we want, but also by being clear about our abilities and about the challenges ahead. We can benefit from the help of authors or mentors in finding this. That being said, courage comes with the spark to act, compels us to act despite our fears and apprehensions. We may still be making a mistake, but we will always come closer to the answer that way.
It strikes me that, for many of us who struggle with building agency, the key challenge is letting the strength of your desire for something overcome the "nobody ever got fired for buying IBM" problem-- where "IBM" is the low-agency choice, and the one who does the "firing" is your own judgmental future self.
The low-agency choices you list are choices that, if they go wrong, are easy to rationalize to oneself: well, I did the done thing and it didn't work out, that sucks but whaddayagonnado? The high-agency choices require taking much more psychological responsibility for the risk of failure: reality being what it is, you may well consciously intend something, make the choices a priori most likely to achieve that intention, and fall short anyway, and then that is on you. And my sense is (maybe projecting here) that what often inhibits such choices is the anticipation of self-blame in that failure case. Is that something you see often?
well said! i wonder the same. also, negative consequences of high-agency choices are harder to defend to people who don’t understand you.
This is such an insightful article! I recommend everyone who’s just starting on Substack consider reading high-quality publications.
Read high-quality publications first, so you develop a sense of what “good” looks like. Then, instead of getting lost in an ocean of posts and notes, you naturally start identifying the ones that align with your own internal North Star.
This is one of the best articulations of how I think about agency. The tie to one’s own moral compass is key. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!
Thanks, Lauren! <3
Brb crying
you are incredible. thank you for this. Will be pouring over carefully and savouring every word
🥹 This means so much coming from you, thank you!! 🥰
The critiques conflate high agency with blindness to tradeoffs. Those are two different problems. Lower agency is the harder problem to solve than awareness of tradeoffs. High agency + good judgement is the answer. Easier to develop judgement with high agency than without. Maybe they would consider high agency as a form of exploitation of low agency people? The low agency mindset overestimates downsides that are in turn exploited by rational actors with better judgement developed via a high agency mindset. If that’s their frame, there is no such thing as a just world with unequal outcomes. It’s exploitation all the way down.
Absolutely magnificent.
This was great
Agree with every word. Literally. In my book The Ten Permissions my first permission is Be Wilful. For just the reasons you offer here= because we need desire as our driver. We need to reacquaint ourselves with "want". Which for most of us was squashed down very early. Be wilful! It sounds hugely transgressive but it's actually the start of all the best things in your life.
thank you for this elaboration.
We find our own path when we stop acting to please others or to vie for their attention. That's the first step towards agency, towards finding your own path, your own voice. You cannot make an original contribution unless it is from your own voice.
When I look back at how I found my own path, I come to the surprising conclusion that it was mostly by trial-and-error. A simple example from my own life. I hardly had any taste for clothing, though I wanted to dress well. In a store, I tried a salmon-coloured shirt, was unsure of myself, went for the safer red shirt, wore it poorly, and then kicked myself for my cowardice. A week later, I returned to the store, bought the salmon-coloured shirt and wore it proudly ever since. I learned about my taste by first making the wrong choice.
So much of my life went through some form of trial-and-error, from personal tastes to life partners to career. That's why I would hesitate to try a GenaAI coaching app or a lifemapping tool. I don't think we can plot our lives that way, nor should we fear making the wrong choice. I'd rather dive in towards what feels right, see if it fits, and then decide if it's right for me.
The key is to pay attention to our own reactions. Does this feel right? Does it match our own abilities, means and desires? Even if our path is difficult, our choices may still be the right ones for us. That's the agency which you describe.
Agency is only the starting point: we also need the abilities and the means. I started a company that develops technologies to fight climate change. It was absolutely what I wanted to do and had the skills and experience to carry out. The timing ended up being wrong because investment in this space dried up while I was building up the company. We eventually folded. Abilities and means were there, but not the right circumstances.
All this requires courage. I think we find it, first by being clear about what we want, but also by being clear about our abilities and about the challenges ahead. We can benefit from the help of authors or mentors in finding this. That being said, courage comes with the spark to act, compels us to act despite our fears and apprehensions. We may still be making a mistake, but we will always come closer to the answer that way.